Suboptimization @ its Finest!

A lot of you don't initially register what the buzz term 'suboptimization' implies.  We hear it and deduce that it means being, well, less optimal.  The important part of the definition that is often overlooked lies in WHY something becomes less optimal.  Suboptimization focuses on one simple, unique part of the whole and dedicates all resources toward achieving the individual goal associated with it while ignoring the effects on the overall system and other contributing parts, processes, people, etc...

FRINSTANCE:

What if you were juggling and you decided to try to throw one specific apple much much higher than the other apples you're juggling each time you catch it.   You delay the hand-to-hand flow of the other apples by doing this and I'll bet you a Coke that you drop at least one of them.  It might work with two or three apples (depending on the size of your hands) but any more than that and you're stepping in applesauce, friend. 

Oh, and by the way, if you drop all the other apples, you're no longer juggling.  You're throwing one apple up really high in the air.  You're really cool.

This idea of focusing on one goal and letting the others literally fall to the wayside happens daily to most of us. 

FRINSTANCE:

I'm good at a lot of [common sense] officey type things.  Thank you Clemson University.  That said, I'm sure you have all experienced the "Oh, you're the resident expert at [insert computer program, reporting function, charting function, making two-sided copies, etc... here]" from your co-workers or management.  You thought you were earning bonus points by helping Wanda in Accounting use the "print to private mailbox" function on the copier but to Wanda you're now a *resource*.  Next week, she's going to want to make an employee pamphlet to attach to everyone's paycheck and guess who she's going to ping for more info on exactly how to do that... BAM!  How ya like THEM apples?

Wanda's personal goals are phenomenally more important to her than the fact that you've got to finish three reports, a metrics deck and an expense report (irony- you're making additional work for her). 

Wanda wants that pamphlet to rock the house.  And she will interrupt the flow of YOUR day and your resources (time and patience) for you to show her "how to make the copier thingy tri-fold".  She is not looking at the bigger picture of what your group/department/company needs to be successful- i.e. your deliverables.  Wanda wants to knock their pamplet-reading socks off (with your help, of course) and could give a shit about your deliverables- even if it contributes to the bottom line for your company.

I'm going to share one example of this that drives me NUTS at work.  Often, I have, let's call them, OFF days.  But even on my OFFIEST day, I would never suboptimize someone on the level I'm about to describe.

I used to work with a guy who would push back in his chair, crank his neck around and say "You busy?"  I always wanted to answer, "Nope, just shopping for fishtanks online- how can I serve you today?"  In honor of professionalism, and due to the fact that having blatent office enemies is really annoying when you're trying to get stuff done, I decided to avoid telling him what I really thought every time he wheeled back and interrupted me.  Until this one day...

This guy [this F'ing guy] would literally ask me if I knew someone's extension or email address.  I would just stare blankly at him until he realized that it would have taken him less time (and, specifically, less of MY time) to use the company directory to find this information.  He had equal access to the information but wanted to expend less effort (brain power) for his maximum result.  At the expense of my time (and sanity).

Finally, one day, he caught me on an OFF day of a different sort and I let him have it.  He asked me if I could send him something that I know for a fact he had equal and constant access to on our intranet.  All he had to do was click twice to get the information on his own.  But, he ignored my capacity/work statement/requirements to support his ultimate goal of obtaining that info.

Suboptimization is the enemy of teamwork.  He never got over the pushback I gave him and then started referring to me as "Oh Wise One" which he prefaced every stupid question with from then on.

So, how can we [the wise, the willing, the mighty] fend off these oppresive situations?

You have to hit suboptimizers where it hurts.  Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and they tell a funny/sad/interesting story about themselves and when you chime in with an equally amusing/sad/unique story in direct reference to theirs, they stop listening or change the subject?  The key to getting rid of a suboptimizer is to threaten to do it back to them.  When people I find absolutely annoying come to tell me stories about their kids Christmas play or their daughter's gall bladder surgery, [their goal being to vent and share experiences, maybe just hear themselves talk, whatev] I often interrupt them and start telling my own story to sort of head them off at the pass.

A suboptimizer will immediately wrap it up and/or walk away.  SCARLET LETTER, those bastards.  The suboptimizer does not care about your story.  The suboptimizer only cares about thier story and in denying you the opportunity to reciprocate the kindness of listening to something you care nothing about, they show their true souls.  The suboptimizer kills the relationship/teamwork by being insensitive and unconscious of the overall needs of maintaining a positive relationship with someone else.

Don't be that guy.  [or gal]  And play dumb the next time someone brings you one of their really high apples.